1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying.
10. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be..?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
30. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
32. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it…like humor…but different.


Remembering John Hughes: 10 most totally awesome high school movies

As a child of the 80’s, my expectations of high school life were indelibly shaped by John Hughes, the king of the teen movie. Reality, of course, never lived up to the John Hughes fantasy. I never attended a party anything like the rager at Jake’s house in Sixteen Candles. Never managed to cram an Astros game, trip to the Museum of Fine Arts Houston, a ride to the top of Chase Tower, crashing either of the MLK Day parades and lunch at Vargo’s into a school day.

But Mr. Hughes gave those of us in the Nimitz High School class of 1992 something to shoot for.

So, in honor of John Hughes, here’s my list of the 10 most totally awesome movies set in a high school. Thanks to my Chronicle colleagues, who flooded my in-box with suggestions. Here they are, in no particular order, except for the Breakfast Club, which is first because it’s the best and if you disagree we can’t be friends.

What’s on your list?

The Breakfast Club

If you didn’t spend at least one night parked on an abandoned road with your buddies quoting lines from this movie, you didn’t attend high school from 1985 to 1995.

“Did I stutter?”

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

“Nine times.”

Sixteen Candles

“Can I borrow your underpants?”

To Sir, With Love

Sidney Poitier. A serious dude with serious moves.

Back to the Future

“Give me a milk. Chocolate.”

The Last Picture Show

Cloris Leachman, before the unfortunate dancing experiment

Better Off Dead

“I want my two dollars.”

Can’t Buy Me Love

I mowed lawns for cash in high school, too. That’s where the similarities between Patrick Dempsey and me end.

Napoleon Dynamite

“Whatever I feel like I wanna do. Gosh.”


The first mean girls

Heck, let’s make it 15.


“I don’t know. Maybe there’s two of us.”

Cooley High

“Why don’t you go somewhere?”


Somehow, I don’t think it’s like this at HSPVA.


Matthew Broderick ain’t Ferris no more.

Summer School

I watched this movie on cable around 50 times one summer. Maybe that’s why I married a woman who’s a dead ringer for Courtney Thorne Smith.





據說當年黃沾亦曾打過《阿飛》續集主意,揚言要親撰劇本,將梁朝偉及劉嘉玲發展成一對,順著劇情發展。偉仔演回賭徒,加幾場床上戲,再利用王家衛手 頭剩下的菲林,剪接之前拍下的片段,便大功告成。他甚至興奮得當晚致電鄧光榮提出合作大計,說不用投資太多便可坐享豐收。最終鄧光榮卻以合約問題需要解 決,婉拒沾叔好意。




著名編劇林超榮當年曾被邀請到鄧光榮的製作公司,翻看大批《阿》片影片,這景象至今他仍歷歷在目。「百多呎的剪片房擺滿『一餅餅』菲林,堆到上天花 板。」花了一星期睇片,結果只看了一半,林超榮坦言,未曝光的片段主要分兩類,第一類是NG片段,第二類是幾場較完整的戲。例如,有一幕戲講劉嘉玲跳舞給 張學友看,觀眾看到的是劉嘉玲在樓梯口跳舞,其實當時還拍了另一幕是在空地跳舞的,但最終無用這段片,「很多NG片都很零碎,例如不少場景講劉德華在員警 宿舍的生活,拍攝他在宿舍擦皮鞋、洗衫等,也有部分是文戲對白,部分只有十幾二十秒,連樣貌都未看清楚。」

「雖然嚴重超支,但贏盡口碑,當年大哥(鄧光榮)亦想乘勢拍續集,他見該片導演王家衛反正拍了很多菲林,就有意找些青春演員做主角的後生版,例如找 當年仍是新人的曹永廉、林文龍等人做年輕版的梁朝偉、劉德華,然後串連未曝光的片段,拍套《阿飛別傳》。不過,我看片後跟大哥說,片段製成紀錄片就可以, 但要串連成電影就很難,所以最終沒拍成下集。」林超榮說。

當年有份為續集構思的著名編劇林紀陶指出,《阿飛別傳》一開始拍時,已預了是拍兩集,「當時大哥簽一些海外賣埠的合約,也是兩集一齊簽的,所以大哥 一直好想拍埋佢。不過,當時王家衛正在拍《東邪西毒》很忙,所以大哥就找了當時算是新晉編劇的我們幫手。」於是他便與林超榮等一齊為續集度橋,「我們的角 色是構思一些故事給王家衛參考,續拍當然都是要由王家衛來,我們只是在『榫口位』幫下手。」

林紀陶透露,《阿》片的菲林當中有二三十分鐘是續集的片段,主要是在一間板間房中拍攝,「其中張曼玉和梁朝偉的鏡頭都是分開拍攝的,但兩人予人一種 很接近的感覺。」他指出,梁朝偉在續集的角色,應是新一代的「阿飛」、新一代的浪子,「他和張國榮的聯繫,應是二人都在不同時間認識張曼玉。」

他指出,當時續拍《阿》的準備工夫已做了不少,也有想過找梁朝偉和張曼玉補幾組戲,「當時已搵過二人度期,兩個人都應承了。」他指出,大哥對《阿》 片續集一直念念不忘,「當時都有人提議,不如將這些菲林拍成紀錄片,不過大哥唔想,他始終認為,這些片段如果有一日曝光,應該是以drama(戲劇)的形 式。」

片段倘曝光 應以戲劇形式