【单向街·沙龙】林奕华-田沁鑫 主题：都市里的情与欲

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4e70ced30100dm83.html
还是苹果和香蕉的理论。如果你碰上一个陌生人，会发现虽然大家不是一个星球的，可他知道怎样去削苹果皮，还削得挺好，你为什么不让他继续削下去呢？和陌生人会更刺激，进退之间会变得很有意思。

有些事你越明白就越没有兴趣。如果我和一个人聊天，只要说上三到五句话，我就知道接下来他要说什么，这时我就没有兴趣谈下去了。以前我会喜欢很多人，因为我觉得他们都是特别的，可现在不是。

没有一个人是绝对的同性恋或者异性恋，情可以促使欲的出现，而欲也可以生情。有人问我什么是爱情，我说如果你们一起坐Ｔａｘｉ，有车撞来的时候你会替他挡住，这就是爱情。我和我的Ｐａｒｔｎｅｒ坐飞机，颠簸得很厉害的时候我会抱住他。

13个上班族的幻想和欲望

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4e70ced30100bdfi.html
林奕华：我发现大陆的一些城市，北京上海，都在有意的像伦敦巴黎那样发展，这是一个全球化很明显的特征，虽然全球化这个东西，从表面看来，是一种物质文明 的进步，但与此同时也反映了很多问题，大家在追求同一样东西的时候，也容易变成同一种人。如果让现在大部分的人都去上班，他们是为了什么，大家会说为了工 作，如果问他们喜欢工作吗？他们都会觉得上班是在浪费时间，如果可以选择的话，希望可以用自由身去工作，或者我根本不用工作。所以中间会产生很大的落差： 城市每一天有那么多人，用尽了城市的办公室，但其实他们觉得不自由，那么上班族在追求什么呢？

发现除了生活之外，大部分上班的人还是有一些幻想的：他们的幻想是“我可以成功”，所以在中环上班会比在旺角上班高级很多倍。所以整出戏的背景是在一座大 楼里面，每个人都往上爬。如果你问我，上班到底代表什么？一方面它给我们制造了很多所谓的中产阶级，这部分人卡在草根和更高的阶级中间，这部分人有很多的 梦，但却只有很小的实现空间，然后生命就这样过去了。

其实上班族工作的目的都是为了实现成功欲望，这就像是生存，而他们不容许失败是忽视了过程，忽视了失败是过程的一部分，忽视了生活作为一个过程的存在。生存是作为一种结果，而生活是作为一种空间时间和人的感知的总和。”

其实华丽两个字反映的是欲望，所以上班族真的不是我们所说的蚂蚁中的那些工蚁，他们也是有想象的，其实上班族很有趣。北京所有现代的建筑里都是用来收藏上 班族的，可以说是像很多庙宇，就像是一种欲望的图腾。为什么这些建筑要用炫目的设计，其实就是为了吸引人，对这个东西产生想象。

这13个××族的名称其实完全来自于媒体的标签。这是媒体生存的一种把戏。想反映的不是他们之间的差别，而恰恰是一种‘他是他的十年前，她是她的五年后。’我想说的是，他们其实可能都是一种人。
现在的社会是怎样的，出一个LV大家就都疯了。社会通过消费，通过媒体，其实是在制造同一种人，因为当世界上只存在一种人的时候，所有的商品就更加好卖。在这部新戏的宣传中，吸引大家并引起讨论的诸如乐活族BoBo族等人物的创造，我觉得是我跟大家开的一个玩笑
大众媒体和娱乐八卦文化就是把人的不同的地方拿走，最后只剩下了一个标准，导致现在的人越来越没有差别。

鬼才导演做客北大臧否香港文化

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4e70ced30100blzs.html
林奕华说，“我的戏剧不管怎么改题目，不管怎么转换内容，其实都有一个共通的主题，就是为什么我们那么不快乐。”在他看来，我们常常的不快乐有可能是在镜子里面照见一个喜欢的自己，但同时又觉得这个自己到了现实中找不到共鸣，难免会对自己的存在产生很大的质疑。

“为什么我们希望他看得到我们的那些人常常看不到我们？看见和看不见是我现在最感兴趣的题目。”林奕华说，“我们很多时候看不见自己，但是我们又认为很看得见自己。我们会花很多时间和心思去打扮自己，希望让别人看得见我们想他看得见的那个我们。”

所以对待爱情也是同样的道理，“我们不会遇到一个对的人，我们只会创造一个对的人，我相信能够爱自己的人，才能让别人爱上你。”

香港从上世纪70到80年代，它扮演了一个重要的窗口的角色，但是由于历史的原因香港人不可能孕育出各种不同的东西，今天的香港大部分的报纸都是《苹果日 报》的翻版，明星在各个节目中也说着同样的话，两家电视台其实就一家，明星也是很像，所以现在不是偶像时代，是经纪人时代，要符合市场的定位，这是为什么 香港人创意无法拓展的原因。
这种文化的同一性，表现在人际交往中的感觉就是你和一个人交往跟你和一百个人的交往差别不是很大，“你在香港提出一个问题的思考，很快大家就会有一个相同 的反应，‘你想那么多哦？人生最重要就是快乐嘛！’在学校里面也是一样，香港的年轻人上课一般很少问问题，因为没有人愿意突出自己，反而很多内地学生爱提 问，香港学生就会使脸色了，‘哎呀，又来了……’”

为什么香港没有明星呢，因为过去的20年，它只是在自我消费，他没有办法可以形成水源继而衍生源源不断的河流，香港人很平庸，他不敢追求卓越，娱乐的最大作用就是它可以谋杀卓越。

“因此我在这本书里面谈到了一个概念，就是‘琐碎化’，本来很多无关痛痒的事情，以娱乐的名义被无限放大。因为大家精神真的太空虚了，大家很需要找到生活 的焦点，很容易在鸡毛蒜皮的事情上制造话题，简单来说，就是大家没有自己的话题，需要在媒体上找话题，我们自己不是话题，但是为什么不呢？”

fashion gone rogue

http://www.fashiongonerogue.com/
A blog with many fashion editorials post. Frequently updated.

fashionisto

http://thefashionisto.com/blog/
A blog with many men fashion runway photos.

Joseph Christian Leyendecker

Joseph Christian Leyendecker (March 23, 1874 – July 25, 1951) was a pre-eminent American illustrator. He is best known for his poster, book, and advertising illustrations, the iconic trade character known as the Arrow Collar Man, and his many covers for the Saturday Evening Post^[1].
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._C._Leyendecker
http://www.americanartarchives.com/leyendecker,jc.htm
Arrow Collars and Shirts (teens and 20s) J C Leyendecker – 002

Arrow Collars and Shirts (1907) J C Leyendecker – 003

Kuppenheimer (1910, 1917, 1912) J C Leyendecker – 010

Kuppenheimer (1920s) J C Leyendecker – 011

‘We might need to see you without your bra, he told me. I was 14. I didn’t even have breasts yet’

Sara Ziff backstage at a Nicole Farhi show in 2003. Photograph: Anthea Simms
As a top teen model, Sara Ziff was earning the kind of money her school friends could only dream of. But there was a price to pay. She tells Louise France why she has made a documentary about what really happens behind the cameras
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/jun/07/sara-ziff-teen-modelling-fashion

向優柔寡斷開戰

http://chinese.wsj.com/big5/20090512/wvh133442.asp?source=blog

在

我奔走於工作和生活之間的時候﹐有件事經常讓我不得不放慢節奏﹐那就是作決定。我是個極其優柔寡斷的人。而且我一向如此﹐儘管我盡了最大努力去減少為絞盡腦汁作決定而花費的時間和精力。

難 倒我的通常都是些相對並不重要的決定﹐比如﹕我應該在藥店裡買哪種護髮產品﹖──這個決定我就會想半天。為了買一個床墊（單面軟枕型床墊﹖長絨面的? 乳膠的?或者是記憶泡沫做的?）﹐我會往幾家零售店來回跑上無數趟﹐還退了三次貨﹐直到最後才算有點滿意﹐雖然我承認﹐有時我還是遺憾沒能買那套更舒適的 軟枕面床墊﹐而是買了最後的這個比較硬的彈簧床墊。

Associated Press

用加厚墊還是長絨墊﹖總是有那麼多的選擇擺在面前我們面前。

我 當初生兒子的時候﹐我們差一點兒連兒子的中間名沒起好就要離開醫院回家﹐原因是我在兩個名字中間思來想去拿不定主意。（最後我們兩個都用上了﹐一個作為中 間名﹐另一個按照猶太傳統作為希伯來名。）還有﹐千萬別讓我開始籌劃度假──什麼地點啦﹐酒店啦﹐航班﹐可能得到的額外優惠﹐諸如此類﹐我會為這些事情熬 到大半夜不睡覺﹐來回搜索、權衡我的選擇。

不過﹐我這種優柔寡斷的性格總的來說不會在工作或大的生活選擇上折磨我（我大概只考慮了一秒鐘就決定買下我們的房子）。實際上﹐都是些瑣事讓我頭痛。

我之所以遇事猶豫不決﹐在一定程度上是因為我本質上是一個喜歡研究的人──我總希望確保我作出的決定是最有水平的、經過徹底調查研究的選擇。而且我小氣得不可思議﹐因此不希望放過任何小恩小惠。但這些都需要花時間去想﹐因此﹐我很少能立刻作出決定或憑直覺作決定。

上週﹐在《華爾街日報》週日版﹐專欄作家斯蒂芬•尤德(Stephen Kreider Yoder)和伊薩克•尤德(Isaac S. Yoder)父子討論了為什麼限制選擇有時可以有助於讓決策更輕鬆、並帶來更快樂的結果。

他 們提到了2004《科學美國人》雜誌(Scientific American)上《選擇的暴政》(The Tyranny of Choice)一文﹐作者是斯沃斯莫爾學院(Swarthmore College)社會學教授施瓦茨(Barry Schwartz)。這篇文章給出的核心忠告是﹕接受一個滿足你核心需求的選擇﹐而不是到處搜索那個虛無的“最佳選擇”。然後﹐別再考慮這件事﹐不要擔心 你錯過了什麼。

伊薩克•尤德指出﹐施瓦茨發現﹐在作決定方面﹐人們會落在兩個極端之間﹐一端是“最大化者”﹐即那些總追求作出最好選擇的人。另一端是“滿足者”﹐即滿足於“足夠好就可以”﹐不論是否還有更好的選擇。

文章最後說﹐對於自己最後作出的選擇﹐最大化者的滿意度通常要比滿足者低﹐他們會對（沒能享有）選擇其他某個決定可能得到的結果感到遺憾﹐選擇越多﹐機會成本越大﹐遺憾的機會也就越多。

我 當然屬於讓人苦惱的最大化者。不過我還有救。施瓦茨在其著作《選擇的自相矛盾之處》(The Paradox of Choice)中﹐有一個章節談到如何控制像我這樣的優柔寡斷傾向。他給出的忠告包括﹕控制期望、選擇不可逆的決定、避免進行社會比較﹐還有學會喜愛約 束。

諸位讀者﹐你在決策方面做得如何﹖你在決策時屬於果斷型還是優柔寡斷型﹖你是痛苦的最大化者還是果斷的滿足者﹖這方面的特點對你的工作有何影響﹖對於如何作出更快、更好的決策﹐你有些什麼心得﹖

Rachel Emma Silverman

How to Make Your Place in the World

http://blogs.openforum.com/2009/05/26/how-to-make-your-place-in-the-world/
http://www.amazon.com/What-Wish-Knew-When-Was/dp/0061735191?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242840502&sr=1-1

Tina Seelig is the executive director of the Stanford Technology Ventures Program (STVP), where she teaches courses on innovation and entrepreneurship. Tina earned her Ph.D. in neuroscience from Stanford University Medical School and has worked as a management consultant, multimedia producer, entrepreneur, and author. Her newest book is titled, What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20: A Crash Course on Making Your Place in the World.

1. Question: How does making stuff out of rubber bands and paper clips over the span of a few days transfer to the reality of the long-lasting grind of innovating, marketing, and supporting products?Answer: In the exercise you’re referring to students are given a handful of paperclips or rubber bands and are challenged to create as much value as possible in only a few days. Value can be measured in any way they like. The lessons they learn are priceless: They realize that there are opportunities everywhere, that they can easily leverage limited resources, and that they can create real value in only a few days.Also, they experience the power of rapid prototyping, effective teamwork, and how to execute on a plan. It is amazing to see the range of solutions from teams from around the world. This exercise reinforces the idea that life is the ultimate open-book exam—the doors are thrown wide open, which allows you to draw on endless resources to tackle open-ended problems in creative ways.
2. Question: But what makes you think that the companies have wide-open doors, endless resources, and open-ended problems?Answer: It is up to each individual to see it that way. Most jobs involve projects that don’t have one right answer. It is up to each individual to discover the best solutions using whatever resources they can find. These solutions don’t have to cost a lot of money. They often involve identifying other people who can help, leveraging work that has been done before, or combining ideas in new and interesting ways.This is just as true for a CEO as it is for engineers, sales people, lawyers, teachers, chefs, and even babysitters. We often limit ourselves by not seeing all the resources in our midst. However, those who do see that the doors really are wide open, who can reframe problems, and who can creatively draw upon the endless resources in their midst are much more successful in both the short run and the long run.
3. Question: How should a college student decide what to study?Answer: When I started college I was a pre-med student. Right after I got to college I asked a girl in my dorm if she would help me with a calculus problem. She refused, saying that if she helped me, I would get into med school, and she wouldn’t. She was so focused on her long-term goals that she wasn’t able to engage in everyday relationships. That was a huge wake-up call. I was forced to rethink my plans and realized that I should do what interests me and figure out the things that I do best instead of staying on a pre-planned path that might lead me somewhere I didn’t want to go. Now I encourage students to do the same thing—that is, spend time trying lots of different things so that they can see where their passions take them and where they can really shine.
4. Question: What should a college student look for in a first job?Answer: The most important thing to remember is that your first job probably won’t even be on your resume in a few years.  With that in mind, it makes sense to take a job that will put you in a position to learn as much as possible. Don’t be worried about the title or the salary and focus on with whom you will be working. Remember—and this is important—that when you get a job, you are not getting THAT job, but the keys to the building. Once you are inside, you will find endless ways to expand your role, to build your credibility, and to excel.
5. Question: What should a person do in her first week on the job?Answer: I wish someone had told this to me when I was getting out of school. You should spend the first weeks on a job figuring out what is really going on. The stated culture of an organization is often quite different from the real culture. And formal titles don’t necessarily reflect real influence in the company. Also, use the first few weeks to set the tone for your working style. People will draw conclusions about you very quickly, and you will want those conclusions to be accurate. Finally, figure out if there is someone who might be willing to be an informal mentor—someone you can go to to ask for help, especially at the beginning when it isn’t clear how the organization really works.
6. Question: Is there anything you “knew” at twenty that turned out to be still true?Answer: I was a kid who never liked to follow the rules. Other people make rules for you to make life easier for them not for you. For example, when you ask someone how to get into graduate school, make a movie, write a book, or run for political office, they will give you a recipe with a set of incremental steps that gets you closer to the goal. However, many people who have successfully reached those goals have followed a completely different path. If you really want to accomplish something, there is usually a creative way to get there even if the traditional path is blocked.
7. Question: What’s the biggest thing that you “knew” at twenty that turned out to be wrong?Answer: When I was twenty I beat myself up whenever I made a mistake. I thought that I had to do things correctly the first time and spent a lot of time agonizing about what I should have done. In fact, if you aren’t making mistakes, then you aren’t taking enough risks. I was comfortable taking risks, but wasn’t comfortable with the inevitable failures along the way.  Now I realize that mistakes are part of the learning process. Now when I make a mistake, I add it to my “failure resume” and figure out what I should do differently the next time.
8. Question: What’s the best analogy that describes a career?Answer: I like the analogy that Carol Bartz, CEO of Yahoo!, used when she spoke at Stanford a few years ago. She said that you should look at the progress of your career as moving around and up a three dimensional pyramid as opposed to up a two dimensional ladder. Lateral moves along the side of the pyramid allow you to build a base of experience. It may not look as though you are moving up quickly, but you are gaining a foundation of skills, experience, and contacts that will prove extremely valuable later.
9. Question: When should a company give up on a product or service?Answer: This is always a hard question. We all know that in order to be successful you have to put in an enormous effort, and many people work for years before their ventures look like overnight successes. Even when others suggest that it is time to cut your loses, you know that with more time you will be able to make it work. However, this can only happen when you are completely committed. If you have lost your passion, it is time to quit. Without a strong drive to succeed, there is no way you will have the energy to ultimately reach escape velocity.
10. Question: What is the key to leading people?Answer: From my experience, one key to leading others is to “paint the target around the arrow.” That is surround yourself with really sharp people—arrows—and make sure that they are doing what they do best. If you empower really talented people to do what they do best, then astonishing things happen. Everyone feels that they are doing the easy job and truly appreciate what everyone else is contributing. Also, figure out what motivates each individual on your team. With that knowledge you can put incentives in place that encourage each person to deliver their best.
11. Question: What’s the best way to fix mistakes?Answer: It is important to correct mistakes quickly. The longer they linger, the bigger they get. As mentioned above, I tend to take lots of risks, and therefore have had lots of opportunities to correct my errors. I find the best approach is to acknowledge the error and move on. If possible, find a way to quickly demonstrate that you have learned from the experience.
12. Question: What is the secret to successful negotiation?Answer: Make sure that you understand the other person’s point of view. If you make assumptions, you will very likely be wrong. When I bought a car for my son. I assumed that the salesperson wanted us to pay the highest price. That wasn’t the case! After asking a bunch of questions, I learned that his commission wasn’t based on the price of the car—it was based on the scores he got on the customer evaluation form we filled out afterward. Of course, I was happy to give him a great score in return for a great price. This is how win-win negotiations come about.
13. Question: How does one balance work and “life”?Answer: You copied a quote from my book into one of your recent blogs. That quote, attributed to the Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu, is very powerful.
    

    “The master of the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him, he is always doing both.”

    This is what we should all aspire to—having work that enriches our lives and lives that enrich our work. On the path to this perfect balance, it is best to pick three things that are most important to you and focus on them. This list will change as your priorities change and is a reminder that you can do it all—just not at the same time.

Out of work 6 months. Now what?

If you’ve been unemployed for half a year in this market, should you just take any job you’re offered? Rewrite your resume? Enjoy the break?

By Anne Fisher, contributor

April 13, 2009: 10:13 AM ET

NEW YORK (Fortune) — Dear Annie: I got laid off from a senior management job in marketing last September, just as the worst of this recession was getting underway, so I’m now coming up on six months’ unemployment. As a hiring manager for many years (I’m 47), I always looked askance at candidates who had been out of work this long, so now I’m worried that prospective employers will do the same to me.

I’ve been called for a couple of interviews, but neither job seemed right for me. Am I being too picky? Should I take just any job, if I get another chance, simply to avoid having such a big hole in my work history? Also, should I rewrite my resume? Currently it’s chronological, but maybe a functional one — emphasizing types of experience rather than when I did what — would serve me better now. Please help. -Sleepless in San Francisco

Dear Sleepless: Granted, half a year can seem like an eternity when you’re on pins and needles, but chin up.

“In this market, six months is nothing,” says Nancy Keene, director of the Dallas office of executive recruiters Stanton Chase. “This is unprecedented. In the dot-com implosion, for example, lots of managers got laid off — but many other industries were still strong, so there was someplace for those people to go.” Not this time. “You have to take a long-term view and expect that it may take you a full year to land the job you want,” says Keene.

A couple of new surveys back her up. Executives can now be unemployed nine months before it even begins to hurt their marketability, according to a poll of hiring managers at 1,000 big U.S. companies by Robert Half Management Resources. And the average senior-management job hunt now takes even longer than that, according to a survey of 5,060 executives and 476 headhunters for the 2009 Executive Job Market Intelligence Report from ExecuNet. In fact, 10.1 months is how long most senior managers have to job hunt these days, the poll found.

Moreover, you were smart to turn down two opportunities that didn’t seem right for you, Keene believes. “The worst response to this situation is jumping into the wrong job. That leads to a series of short hops, which spells career derailment,” she says. “Look for consulting projects instead. As a senior manager, two years of consulting looks much better on your resume than two jobs where you only stayed a year, or less.”

She adds: “You need to do a dual marketing campaign for yourself: One where you’re seeking your next full-time job, and the other in search of appropriate consulting work to keep your resume filled up, get new experience, and add new people to your network.”

Wendy Enelow, a longtime author, trainer, and career coach (www.wendyenelow.com), agrees. “Not long ago, putting ‘consultant’ on your resume screamed ‘couldn’t find a job’,” she says. “That stigma is gone now. If you’re an expert at something, it’s perfectly acceptable to sell that expertise on an interim basis.” (See the March 16 column, “Be a Manager and a Temp?”)

And don’t change your resume from a chronological to a functional one, advises Enelow. “For people who have been out of work for a very long time – for instance, moms who took 10 or 15 years off to raise their families and now want to get back into the workforce — a functional resume makes sense,” she says. “But for you, out of work just six months? It’s a mistake. It makes it look as if you have something to hide.”

“Be 100% honest and just tell interviewers you were laid off last fall and are still looking for the right opportunity,” she adds. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to explore all your options in depth, especially if you’re also sharpening your skills and building your network with short-term consulting gigs, maybe even lending a hand to a nonprofit in your community.

“The same people who sit on corporate boards are on nonprofit boards,” notes Nancy Keene. These are good people to be visible to.”

As a 47-year-old senior manager who presumably has been toiling away nonstop for a quarter of a century or so, Enelow says, you should feel free to mention to prospective employers that you’ve used some of these past six months “to slow down and smell the roses” — spending more time with your family, brushing up on a foreign language, taking photography classes, or whatever else you’ve been doing to recharge and re-energize yourself for the next phase of your career.

“A long job hunt can be demoralizing,” she says. “But if you go into an interview feeling and acting like a victim of the economy, it will sink you. You need to find ways to keep your spirits up and maintain a positive, forward-looking energy.”

In other words, try to have some fun. If that sounds like a waste of time, consider Ben Wallace, age 40, who two weeks ago started his new job as chief operating officer of Penneco, a Pennsylvania oil and gas exploration company, after being out of work since last June. Wallace says he spent those nine months doing what he calls “quality networking,” which led to consulting assignments that eventually landed him his current position.

“As soon as I was free and clear of my old employer, I started calling senior managers at other companies in the industry and asking them out to lunch,” he says. His companions would start talking about gaps in their current talent pool, which Wallace would then offer to fill on a temporary basis.

Between consulting projects, he says, he enjoyed life. “I took my 9-year-old son to Boy Scout camp for a whole week and left my BlackBerry at home, which is something I never, ever would have done when I was working full-time,” Wallace says. He adds: “Everybody who has been working very hard for a long time has neglected some part of their personal life and at some point thinks, ‘Gee, wouldn’t it be great to take a 6-month sabbatical, spend more time with my family, go to the gym every day and get back in shape…’ So if you’re job hunting, in a sense this is your sabbatical. Make the most of it!”

The advantage of not obsessing over your career 24 hours a day, Wallace says, is that “you will feel great, which will boost your self-confidence — and that will help your job search.” Worth a try, no?

Readers, what do you say? Have you been out of work for six months or longer? What are you doing to cope? How long can someone be unemployed in this market without it being seen as a black mark against their candidacy? Can changing resume styles really help cover an employment gap? Tell us what you think on the Ask Annie blog. 

Find this article at: http://money.cnn.com/2009/04/13/news/economy/gap.fortune/index.htm